Thursday, November 26, 2009

Easy Ways to find Candidate You Like (published on Thursday, Jan 19, 2006)

It’s that time of year again! Voting time! Are you in a quandary on who to vote for again? Here are a few suggestions on how to select a candidate that will help you feel that you have done your civic duty, responsibly and thoughtfully:


First check out your neighbour’s lawn, do they have a candidates sign out? If they do and you like your neighbour, then vote for that candidate, after all your neighbour must have done some research and know what he is talking about, so feel free to take advantage of the work he’s done! If you don’t like your neighbour, then don’t vote for that candidate! There, you’ve narrowed your choices already!

Second, you can always tell a lot about a person by the car they drive! You don’t want to vote for the candidate driving a big, shiny, new Ford truck, they obviously like to spend money and don’t care about the environment. At the same time, you don’t want to vote for the candidate driving an old, rattling ’86 Audi either, they must not like to spend money or haven’t had any to spend, and thus we will end up with an enormous budget surplus and no social programs. So vote for the candidate driving a mid-size, somewhat new, economical vehicle!

A third method is to check out the flyers they send you in the mail usually the week before election day. You don’t want to be voting for the candidate that has a picture that was taken 20 years ago. You know darn well they don’t have that much hair now and they certainly have more wrinkles, besides anyone spending money on glamour shots is a little too vain for my liking… And what about the mustache, that has to be making the spouse miserable…. and if they have no trouble making the spouse miserable, think they will stop with us the constituents? I don’t think so!

Fourth, if you’re down to the wire, there’s always the horoscope plan! On election day, check out what your astrologer says, if it says you will be impressed by a tall, dark, handsome stranger then you know who to vote for, but if it says to look out for a vivacious blond then you know that’s your answer! You will have the self satisfaction of knowing your vote was foretold in the stars.

Lastly, if none of these ideas appeal to you, you can always read about the candidates in the Daily News or attend the Wednesday night, 7:00 pm forum at TRU and actually listen to what the candidates have to say, but really, who has that kind of time! The good thing to know is that when you finally come up with a foolproof voting method, you can use it again next year when we have to vote again!
Happy voting Kamloops!

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