Thursday, November 26, 2009

Do not give up control over teenage driver! (published on Feb 10, 2006)

Are you the parent of a soon-to-be teenage driver? May I offer you my heartfelt sympathies and a few words of advice? As the mother of two teenage drivers for two years I have been noticing certain tendencies! Be sure to lay down some important ground rules and stick to them even amongst all the whining and complaining.


First, never let them throw you out of the car! Just because you are gently commenting on their driving skills for the gazillionth time and they pull over and tell you to get out and walk, don’t! Firmly remind them that you are the parent and that it is your vehicle they are driving! You have sat in that vehicle for many fearful months and you are not getting out now.

Second, don’t let them make up any new rules. After all this is a destructive, one ton machine they have in their hands, not a monopoly game. I have had daughters happily skip Stop signs, and when asked why, they look at me in disbelief and say “because nobody was coming”!! Explain that it says STOP for a reason, not Pause or Yield or Hesitate ! Again, do not get out of the car when asked to do so!!

Third, be firm from the beginning about no speeding or passing anyone anytime….. When they complain about older drivers that are driving 20km under the speed limit, explain that you have been following them for twenty years and they can do so for at least two, or until they are no longer driving your vehicle. They will also try to renegotiate the speed limit signs which is a good time to smoothly point out any crosses you see on the side of the road! So no passing or speeding!

Fourth, be prepared to constantly reiterate, driving costs money! Driving to school and back every day uses gas and money, no matter what they say…. They will have to be continually reminded that their hard earned “clothes” money, now has to become gas money if they expect to keep using your vehicle. When they look at you in amazement, don’t budge, after all when they leave home, you don’t want them dressed to the nines, hitch hiking because they ran out of gas!!

Lastly, make sure you have rigid rules on highway driving and how far they can go! Rayleigh is okay, Salmon Arm is out! As soon as they have that N in their hot little hands, they will be planning out of town parties, and do you know that some of our highways have signs that actually read…“killer highway!” Unfortunately, they may also have siblings with them and so now you are worried about two of them. As you pace the floor watching the clock, you realize that these are not just your kids any more, but your best friends and that life would be unbearable without them!

Parents, be prepared to use your best bargaining, negotiating and staying calm at all times, skills! This is not just about having a new driver in your house, this is a total change of the world as you know it! Good luck in your frequent but futile attempts to remain in the drivers seat!

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